My family is quite normal. I am married and we have 3 sons. My family is my world. They give me purpose (typically my daily purpose is to clean after them and play referee, but a job is a job ;) ). I would never trade them for anything.
My boys are quite different, beginning with completely different pregnancies. It is no joke when people tell you each pregnancy and each child is completely different and you will love each of them no matter what.
My oldest son- very typical pregnancy. Sick first 3 months, heartburn and swelling for the entire 9 months. Gained over 60 pounds. I was induced and had no epidural. 15 hours later (only about 6 of that painful) I had a healthy 9 pound 9.5 oz bald baby. Very typical little boy. Hit all the milestones when he was supposed to. Walked a little late, but no big deal. Now he's 10 and is developing into quite the moody pre-teen.
My middle son- very sick through my pregnancy. The only thing I ate was hot pockets...I think I only gained 5 pounds or even lost weight. I was induced and had a lovely epidural. Actual labor about 4 hours. He passed meconium and after a scary delivery I was handed a 9 pound 15 oz dark headed baby. Pretty typical hitting milestones when he was supposed to. Talked a little late, but was so happy all the time. Until about age 2. Then the explosiveness and tantrums began. Chalked it up to terrible 2s....Then it continued into the 3s and 4s and got worse with each year no matter what I did to try to discipline him. Now he is 6 and diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). For a clinical description of ODD click here.
My youngest son- textbook pregnancy. Sick for 3 months, then bliss. Didn't gain any weight (perfectly ok, I was way overweight to start with). I was induced for the 3rd time, got the epidural, it lasted 20 minutes and delivered an 8 pound 10 ounce blond baby after a mere 2 hours of labor.
Now that you know our history, let me explain how to get the most awful looks and unwanted advice anywhere you go. Step 1-wake your ODD child. Step 2-offer them clothing options that they would have accepted yesterday, only to have them send your son into a manic fit equal to having asked him to remove his left foot. Step-3 Have no other options beside taking him with you to the store. Step 4- choose the wrong buggy(cart), go down the aisle that contains what you need. Step 5- explain to your son we are only buying groceries not toys and enjoy being hit, yelled at and groceries knocked off the shelf.....
I've heard all sorts of remarks from 'geez, just give him a good spanking', 'just beat that spoiled brat', 'what a terrible parent', to 'that poor woman'. I also get people giving me suggestions like 'just buy him something little', 'leave him with a sitter', 'try time-outs', etc......Trust me, tried them all and then some.
It's not that often I hear any sympathetic remarks.
I get questions about how we got our diagnosis. While talking to our doctor (physician assistant actually) I described a typical few days for us, his typical reactions to things, and my concern for his safety as well as those around him. (keep in mind, we went to many appointments with our concerns only to have them blown off) When she finally realized there was more to this than a bratty kid, she asked a few questions that ruled out Autism and Asperger's. She came up with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder and told me the only treatments we could do were behavior modification therapy and there was no medication to treat it. I asked for a referral to some place for the therapy and the referral never came. Most of the time I was told no psychologist or psychiatrist in the area treats children under the age of 6.
Dead End.
After a year of researching treatments and any information I could gather on ODD and CD, my husband's cousin told me that her son had ODD and was being treated by a doctor with medication and therapy and had been seeing a local psychologist since before he was 6.
Eureka!!
I quickly made an appointment. By this time his kindergarten teacher had already sent home several notes concerning his behavior, we had 1 conference with the teacher and 1 with the principal. She asked me in for a 2nd conference and we learned that their was a counselor that came to the school and saw kids. We quickly signed him up for that.
Our first visit with the doctor was a long one. He asked the typical family history and his medical history. He asked about my son's behaviors and health. He sent us home with a questionnaire (Connors test) for us to fill out and one to give to his teacher to fill out and send back. We went for a follow up appointment and he said based on what we reported and comparing to the teacher's report, our son did not have ADHD or Bipolar disorder. He definitely had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He started him on the lowest dose of Risperdal (taking 1/2 tab in the morning and 1/2 tab in the evening). That worked well for about a month or 2, then the dose was upped to 1/2 tab in the A.M. and 1 tab in the P.M. After about 3 months Metadate 1x day was added and we have notice a remarkable improvement overall. He has gone from being a roller coaster of emotions, physically violent, emotionally abusive, urinating in heating/cooling vents, urinating in his bed, and barely sleeping at night to more pleasant and easier to redirect, considerably less bed wetting, and sleeping completely through the night.
While the decision to medicate was a difficult one that I fought for quite some time, it ultimately became our only choice. When I was afraid of a 6 year old boy, and his siblings were afraid of him it was time to do something. Even my son has noticed that his medicine has helped. We made sure to include him in the decisions to up doses and add new medications.
Finding support groups for myself and making sure my son has his counselor to talk to has been very helpful to keeping our sanity and finding different ways to cope.
A few helpful books I have found are What Parents Need to Know About ODD, The Explosive Child, and The Defiant Child. While not the only books out there, they are the ones I have found useful. I checked them out at the local library and took notes as I read. We also implemented the Home Token Economy with much success. We even use it for our other 2 children.
If you have any questions about Oppositional Defiant Disorder from a parents perspective, please feel free to contact me!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Kroger Low Fat Frozen Yogurt Bar-Delicious!
Hello beautiful!!
I was blessed to be given the opportunity to try these marvelous frozen yogurt bars thanks to a coupon for a free box from bzzagent.com (since I'm a bzzagent and receive free stuff from them as well as coupons and all I have to do is try it, and tell you fabulous folks about it!)
Finding the yogurt bars was simple. Locate frozen section, locate ice cream/frozen yogurt, and voila! Frozen yogurt bars. I picked up a box of strawberry-banana flavored and checked out the price tag so I would know how much they would be upon a future purchase. $4.29 for a box of 12....not bad, not good...I personally wouldn't buy them as a treat for the kids to gobble up in one sitting, but certainly great for my occasional frozen dairy craving.
I got home and immediately opened the box. After opening the package and tasting I was delighted by the taste! I'm not a huge fan of yogurt, but these tasted like strawberries and bananas and not much like yogurt. Perhaps its the texture of yogurt I do not like, but none the less, I really liked finding bits of strawberries and bananas in this bar. Made it well worth the price tag to know it was not simply an artificially flavored frozen hunk of gunk.
"Oh, but they must be full of calories to taste so good" you say...nay!
Per 1.75fl/oz bar
Calories: 50
Cholesterol: 5mg
Sodium: 25mg
Potassium: 70mg
Carbohydrate: 11mg
Sugars: 9g
Protein: 1g
Ingredients: Skim milk, milk, strawberries, sugar, corn syrup, banana puree (banana, sugar, water, ascorbic acid, salt), cream, cellulose gel, carob bean gum, guar gum, cellulose gum, carrageenan, mono and diglycerides, natural flavor, strawberry and cherry juice concentrate, beet juice (for color) and cultures.
If you are looking for a tasty way to get in some dairy that tastes great-give these Kroger Low Fat Frozen Yogurt Bars a try!
Friday, March 15, 2013
What a Year!
It has been just over a year since my life and anatomy changed forever by having a vertical sleeve gastrectomy. At this point in my progress, I can honestly say I do not miss having a complete stomach. There are times, however, that I do miss being able to eat a ton of my favorite food but wow am I glad I can't!
Sure it isn't all sunshine and roses. I have stomach aches and unbearable pain if I eat too much at once or decide I NEED to drink something too close to eating....or my personal favorite (insert eye roll) eating something with too much sugar. It is like a constant reminder that I shouldn't eat it and now I'm being punished for it. It certainly helps put eating consciously into perspective.
Having shed 105 pounds, gone from a size 26/28 to a 12, XXXL to a Med/Large, and I have the ability to run and play with my kids without being in pain or exhausted. All worth the negatives. It is like being given a new lease on life. Yes, cliche, but true.
I always thought I would never want plastic surgery, but now I'm very open to the idea. My surgeon laughed when I told him I would love to look like I had boobs again. This is the one time I regret being unable to get pregnant, at least then I would get some boobs!
At one year post-op I am able to eat just about anything I want to eat and I've tried wine with no negative side effects. All of my labs come back fantastic other than vitamin D-it is always low. Unfortunately not drinking milk has its downfalls. I have orthostatic hypotension and reactive hypoglycemia. I just stand up slowly and carefully and make sure to eat more protein than carbohydrates.
I have a theory for the hypotension. At my larger weight, my body required larger blood vessels and a larger blood supply. Now that I am smaller but still have the larger vessels and blood supply my heart can't decide how hard it has to work to pump that blood. Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I don't know :)
All I know is I am so happy with my decision and hopefully I will enjoy a long and active life!
Sure it isn't all sunshine and roses. I have stomach aches and unbearable pain if I eat too much at once or decide I NEED to drink something too close to eating....or my personal favorite (insert eye roll) eating something with too much sugar. It is like a constant reminder that I shouldn't eat it and now I'm being punished for it. It certainly helps put eating consciously into perspective.
Having shed 105 pounds, gone from a size 26/28 to a 12, XXXL to a Med/Large, and I have the ability to run and play with my kids without being in pain or exhausted. All worth the negatives. It is like being given a new lease on life. Yes, cliche, but true.
I always thought I would never want plastic surgery, but now I'm very open to the idea. My surgeon laughed when I told him I would love to look like I had boobs again. This is the one time I regret being unable to get pregnant, at least then I would get some boobs!
At one year post-op I am able to eat just about anything I want to eat and I've tried wine with no negative side effects. All of my labs come back fantastic other than vitamin D-it is always low. Unfortunately not drinking milk has its downfalls. I have orthostatic hypotension and reactive hypoglycemia. I just stand up slowly and carefully and make sure to eat more protein than carbohydrates.
I have a theory for the hypotension. At my larger weight, my body required larger blood vessels and a larger blood supply. Now that I am smaller but still have the larger vessels and blood supply my heart can't decide how hard it has to work to pump that blood. Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I don't know :)
All I know is I am so happy with my decision and hopefully I will enjoy a long and active life!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Denial and Food Addiction
While watching the fabulous Dr. Oz today, a topic was brought up that was both familiar yet shocking. Four guests are significantly (I'd definitely say morbidly) obese and love it. Yes friends, I said they LOVE their size, their body, their food, their admirers-all of it. They even argued with the fabulous Dr. about the fact that they are healthy. One even wanted to become the largest woman in America.
*SHUDDER*
To think of how hard I have worked to a) accept me for me both at my largest and now at my smallest b) work hard to regain and maintain my health. Their defense was they have fans in the form of feeders and feeding fetishes. A few of the guests actually made a living with their sizes and the fetishes. But at what cost?
They said they weren't unhappy, they said they loved themselves, they said they were healthy. Yet after talking, two of them decided they needed a change. Addiction is a crazy ride especially when it is on Denial River.
By far food is a drug for many people. Unfortunately it is one that is readily available and socially acceptable not to mention necessary for survival. Sadly, it is a fine line between acceptable and outrageous. Whether a person chronically over eats or binges occasionally there are too many people that have been conditioned to turn to food. The Clean Plate Club; Dessert is your Reward; No Food is your Punishment; Have some Food, you'll feel better are all a few of my biggest pet peeves, and also help lead to eating disorders.
As a teen I felt the only thing I controlled was my food, so I ended up never eating or binge eating. As I got older that turned into attention from boys. Then when the attention from boys/men became out of my control, I went right back to food. Food and I had a love/hate relationship. I loved to eat it and hated to pass it up. I made myself ugly and undesirable so no one would want to bother me. Long story short, my Prince Charming in Camo Armor changed my thoughts on love so I decided to give up my barricade of fat. Dealing with the emotions that came along as I shed each pound was enough to break anyone, but I've persevered. I hope to be a beacon to even just one person, to show them they don't have to settle for what they have. Everyone is worth it, everyone deserves to be happy and healthy and loved.
Moral of the story today is Food does not love you back, but you can love you and there are plenty of people out there that will love and accept you.
*SHUDDER*
To think of how hard I have worked to a) accept me for me both at my largest and now at my smallest b) work hard to regain and maintain my health. Their defense was they have fans in the form of feeders and feeding fetishes. A few of the guests actually made a living with their sizes and the fetishes. But at what cost?
They said they weren't unhappy, they said they loved themselves, they said they were healthy. Yet after talking, two of them decided they needed a change. Addiction is a crazy ride especially when it is on Denial River.
By far food is a drug for many people. Unfortunately it is one that is readily available and socially acceptable not to mention necessary for survival. Sadly, it is a fine line between acceptable and outrageous. Whether a person chronically over eats or binges occasionally there are too many people that have been conditioned to turn to food. The Clean Plate Club; Dessert is your Reward; No Food is your Punishment; Have some Food, you'll feel better are all a few of my biggest pet peeves, and also help lead to eating disorders.
As a teen I felt the only thing I controlled was my food, so I ended up never eating or binge eating. As I got older that turned into attention from boys. Then when the attention from boys/men became out of my control, I went right back to food. Food and I had a love/hate relationship. I loved to eat it and hated to pass it up. I made myself ugly and undesirable so no one would want to bother me. Long story short, my Prince Charming in Camo Armor changed my thoughts on love so I decided to give up my barricade of fat. Dealing with the emotions that came along as I shed each pound was enough to break anyone, but I've persevered. I hope to be a beacon to even just one person, to show them they don't have to settle for what they have. Everyone is worth it, everyone deserves to be happy and healthy and loved.
Moral of the story today is Food does not love you back, but you can love you and there are plenty of people out there that will love and accept you.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Patient vs Visitor
Its so great to not be a patient for once.....While visiting Mom after her VSG surgery, I'm realizing how much I missed after mine. Between the anesthesia and the pain medication, there's a lot of room for missed memories. At least now I've had a taste of what my mother will be like should she ever be cursed with Alzheimer's. (Love you Mom...lol)
How any patient ever gets rest in the hospital I'll never understand. While the quality of care here is top notch, there is always so much going on. Between checking vital signs and walking the halls sleep comes in the form of PCA induced cat naps. No wonder patients come home feeling zapped.
All in all I wouldn't trade the results of my surgery for anything, I just know that the immediate recovery is the pits. While watching Mom snooze I'm reminded of how tender and spacey I felt. While I didn't want to be alone, I sure did not feel up to visitors. Lucky for me hubby sat quietly in the corner only asking an occasional question or two.
Being a visitor I now realize how important comfort is not only for the patient, but for the visitor as well. Refreshments, distractions and comfy chairs have been such a wonderful asset for me today. I can only hope the customer service at other hospitals is at least a fraction of what I'm experiencing.
How any patient ever gets rest in the hospital I'll never understand. While the quality of care here is top notch, there is always so much going on. Between checking vital signs and walking the halls sleep comes in the form of PCA induced cat naps. No wonder patients come home feeling zapped.
All in all I wouldn't trade the results of my surgery for anything, I just know that the immediate recovery is the pits. While watching Mom snooze I'm reminded of how tender and spacey I felt. While I didn't want to be alone, I sure did not feel up to visitors. Lucky for me hubby sat quietly in the corner only asking an occasional question or two.
Being a visitor I now realize how important comfort is not only for the patient, but for the visitor as well. Refreshments, distractions and comfy chairs have been such a wonderful asset for me today. I can only hope the customer service at other hospitals is at least a fraction of what I'm experiencing.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Changing For the Good
91 pounds......an average 11 year old child.......Gone from my body.....WOW. Looking back, its hard to imagine a time when I had to haul that extra weight around. No wonder my entire body hurt all the time. Size 26/28 to a 14/16, 3XL to L....
In 1 short year I have managed to change my body and my life forever. Not saying the weight will never come back--who knows what the future holds, and I know that I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep it off. My anatomy will never be the same. I still have a good 40 years or more in this body and will always have to deal with my decision. At this moment, I can honestly say it was a good decision. HOWEVER, this is not a magic bullet, not easy and not the easy way out. It is a long, hard road to even have the surgery not to mention the amount of work that goes into maintaining this lifestyle forever....
I'm thankful for the support of family and friends and the countless networking of WLS bloggers (Melting Mama, World According to Egg Face, Bariatric Foodie) and WLS patients (Bariatric Bad Girls Club) that I have been able to turn to for information, encouragement and inspiration. I highly recommend anyone considering weight loss surgery to do your research, research some more, and then research even more. Find credible sources and ask questions when you aren't clear on something. Do not go into this lightly and be prepared for a roller coaster. Not everyone will be a cheerleader, not everyone will be behind you after all of it is said and done, but you will find a stronger support system because of those that abandon you.
In 1 short year I have managed to change my body and my life forever. Not saying the weight will never come back--who knows what the future holds, and I know that I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep it off. My anatomy will never be the same. I still have a good 40 years or more in this body and will always have to deal with my decision. At this moment, I can honestly say it was a good decision. HOWEVER, this is not a magic bullet, not easy and not the easy way out. It is a long, hard road to even have the surgery not to mention the amount of work that goes into maintaining this lifestyle forever....
I'm thankful for the support of family and friends and the countless networking of WLS bloggers (Melting Mama, World According to Egg Face, Bariatric Foodie) and WLS patients (Bariatric Bad Girls Club) that I have been able to turn to for information, encouragement and inspiration. I highly recommend anyone considering weight loss surgery to do your research, research some more, and then research even more. Find credible sources and ask questions when you aren't clear on something. Do not go into this lightly and be prepared for a roller coaster. Not everyone will be a cheerleader, not everyone will be behind you after all of it is said and done, but you will find a stronger support system because of those that abandon you.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It will be ok....I think....
Anxiety is the pits. Whether it is over what to wear to your interview, hope I pass the test or OMG there is something in the world outside that's going to get me.
Irrational fears are nothing to mess with. Thanks to them, I have not been able to work in a week....and when this week is over, what then? I have to support my family.
*Insert Fairy Godmother with magic wand to make it all disappear*
Drats, nothing happened. Unfortunately everything I've tried to help alleviate my anxiety has not worked.
Needless to say I'm off to the doctor today to try to get some answers/relief. Feeling like I will die if I leave my house, fearing I will harm someone if I am near them, facial tics/spasms, numbness/tingling, generalized body pain, and digestive system reactions are not on my list of fun.
Today I am trying to focus on me and my family and try to get over this hurdle. I really think all of this was triggered by taking on a new job. Same facility, new department. Not necessarily more responsibility, just responsible for different things. The thought of having someone's life in my hands freaks me out!!! Thanks to this anxiety flare, I am either irrationally changing my major (from nursing to business management) or I am saving myself 2 years of school and a lifetime of stress by not going through with a career that I will ultimately not be able to function in.
It is interesting how I love to help people and make a difference in their life, yet I am scared. to. death. of being around people. I love the idea of being someone's hero in their time of need, but can't honestly say I want to be the one responsible for their next breath. Working in a non-medical field will still allow me to help people and save me the stress of knowing if they don't find that 'perfect' product they aren't going to physically die. And possibly even work behind the scenes......
I think it just might work out after all....
Irrational fears are nothing to mess with. Thanks to them, I have not been able to work in a week....and when this week is over, what then? I have to support my family.
Drats, nothing happened. Unfortunately everything I've tried to help alleviate my anxiety has not worked.
- Take my medications -check
- Deep breathing exercises -check
- Reality orientation -check
- Talking to peers/family -check
Needless to say I'm off to the doctor today to try to get some answers/relief. Feeling like I will die if I leave my house, fearing I will harm someone if I am near them, facial tics/spasms, numbness/tingling, generalized body pain, and digestive system reactions are not on my list of fun.
Today I am trying to focus on me and my family and try to get over this hurdle. I really think all of this was triggered by taking on a new job. Same facility, new department. Not necessarily more responsibility, just responsible for different things. The thought of having someone's life in my hands freaks me out!!! Thanks to this anxiety flare, I am either irrationally changing my major (from nursing to business management) or I am saving myself 2 years of school and a lifetime of stress by not going through with a career that I will ultimately not be able to function in.
It is interesting how I love to help people and make a difference in their life, yet I am scared. to. death. of being around people. I love the idea of being someone's hero in their time of need, but can't honestly say I want to be the one responsible for their next breath. Working in a non-medical field will still allow me to help people and save me the stress of knowing if they don't find that 'perfect' product they aren't going to physically die. And possibly even work behind the scenes......
*insert sigh of relief here*
I think it just might work out after all....
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