Changing For the Good

91 pounds......an average 11 year old child.......Gone from my body.....WOW. Looking back, its hard to imagine a time when I had to haul that extra weight around. No wonder my entire body hurt all the time. Size 26/28 to a 14/16, 3XL to L....

In 1 short year I have managed to change my body and my life forever. Not saying the weight will never come back--who knows what the future holds, and I know that I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep it off. My anatomy will never be the same. I still have a good 40 years or more in this body and will always have to deal with my decision. At this moment, I can honestly say it was a good decision. HOWEVER, this is not a magic bullet, not easy and not the easy way out. It is a long, hard road to even have the surgery not to mention the amount of work that goes into maintaining this lifestyle forever....

I'm thankful for the support of family and friends and the countless networking of WLS bloggers (Melting Mama, World According to Egg Face, Bariatric Foodie) and WLS patients (Bariatric Bad Girls Club) that I have been able to turn to for information, encouragement and inspiration. I highly recommend anyone considering weight loss surgery to do your research, research some more, and then research even more. Find credible sources and ask questions when you aren't clear on something. Do not go into this lightly and be prepared for a roller coaster. Not everyone will be a cheerleader, not everyone will be behind you after all of it is said and done, but you will find a stronger support system because of those that abandon you. 

It will be ok....I think....

Anxiety is the pits. Whether it is over what to wear to your interview, hope I pass the test or OMG there is something in the world outside that's going to get me.

Irrational fears are nothing to mess with. Thanks to them, I have not been able to work in a week....and when this week is over, what then? I have to support my family.

*Insert Fairy Godmother with magic wand to make it all disappear*

Drats, nothing happened. Unfortunately everything I've tried to help alleviate my anxiety has not worked.

• Take my medications -check
• Deep breathing exercises -check
• Reality orientation -check
• Talking to peers/family -check

Needless to say I'm off to the doctor today to try to get some answers/relief. Feeling like I will die if I leave my house, fearing I will harm someone if I am near them, facial tics/spasms, numbness/tingling, generalized body pain, and digestive system reactions are not on my list of fun.

Today I am trying to focus on me and my family and try to get over this hurdle. I really think all of this was triggered by taking on a new job. Same facility, new department. Not necessarily more responsibility, just responsible for different things. The thought of having someone's life in my hands freaks me out!!! Thanks to this anxiety flare, I am either irrationally changing my major (from nursing to business management) or I am saving myself 2 years of school and a lifetime of stress by not going through with a career that I will ultimately not be able to function in.

It is interesting how I love to help people and make a difference in their life, yet I am scared. to. death. of being around people. I love the idea of being someone's hero in their time of need, but can't honestly say I want to be the one responsible for their next breath. Working in a non-medical field will still allow me to help people and save me the stress of knowing if they don't find that 'perfect' product they aren't going to physically die. And possibly even work behind the scenes......

*insert sigh of relief here*

I think it just might work out after all....

At 4.5 months post-op and down 84 pounds total. I've maintained this loss for the past month or so. I've gotten comfortable and enjoying life. That being said, I think I'm subconsciously uncomfortable. I look and feel fabulous (at least from my highest weight) yet I'm apprehensive of the journey ahead. Being a mere 15 pounds from my high school weight and only 30 pounds from my 'goal' I'm worried. Not so much about how I will maintain that weight, but how will I look? How will I feel? Right now I'm dealing with skin issues....saggy, smooshy skin. I look terrific with clothes on, but peel off the layers and reveal a hideous granny suit. Push-up bras are great for false advertisement.
I really, really, really hope that the more I lose, the less saggy it will look-wishful thinking is ok, right?
Anyway, I'm enjoying all the fun things like sharing the recliner with my hubby, him being able to pick me up and carry me around, not moving to buckle the seat belt, crossing my legs, moving without getting winded, fitting into smaller clothes, etc. Being comfortable with myself will hopefully fall into place soon.

263-190 Before and After Pics!

Wow, so long with no update! I am currently at 190 pounds...that is a 73 pound loss all together, 32 since surgery. It has certainly been a rocky road, not physically, but mentally. I still have head hunger-certainly not hungry, just bored or emotional. I've caved to temptation and had jelly beans and some bread....unfortunately they tasted good and went down well. I've eaten too much and/or too fast and had the omg-think-I'm-having-a-heart-attack pains....not fun, but I've learned from those mistakes. I'm getting better about remembering my medications-wish I could say the same for my vitamins....why is it so hard to remember those things?!?!? I'm feeling pretty good for the most part, have my energy back-well as much as a full-time employed mother of 3 boys all in baseball can have!

Great news, starting nursing school in the fall-so exciting!!! I'm ready for the career change, I've always loved caring for people. I suppose I'll be super busy then, working, school and kids! Hope poor hubby doesn't feel left out of it all.... This coming weekend is the hair show-great weekend with great friends! Always have too much fun at those. I'm sure I enjoy the hotel and hanging out more than the show though.

Garnier Fructis BzzCampaign

Just got mine in the mail- Sleek & Shine. Packaging is wonderful! Flip-top cap is easy to open, would be great for slippery hands or if you have problems opening typical flip-top lids. The product itself is thick so a small amount goes a long way! Smells fabulous and fruity, great moisturizing-maybe too much for my hair type. My hair tends to get frizzy and dry at the ends and oily at the roots (if not washed daily). I used this on my entire head....perhaps next time I will use the conditioner off the scalp. I would highly recommend this to someone with extremely dry hair, super frizzy, or if you really like to add shine to your hair. My style did hold all day long and did not have static in it at all (super plus!) Only downfall, greasy bangs by the end of the day. I think this will work great to help protect my heat abused hair!

Being a cosmetologist, I have tried many products from every end of the price spectrum. I would say this is ranking right up there with the more expensive salon brands (at a much cheaper price!) I did receive this product for free from bzzagent.com, but my opinions and experiences are all my own!

Garnier Fructis bzzcampaign!

Too excited to start my next bzz campaign! Should be getting my Garnier Fructis bzzkit soon! Jealous? check out bzzagent.com to get in on awesome bzzcampaigns and sample goodies for yourself!

Children's Claritin

Recently I received my bzzkit from bzzagent.com containing Claritin Chewables and Liquid for kids along with coupons. I got these totally free! I used them on my kids aged 3, 5 and 9. I was pleasantly surprised they did not give me grief about taking the chewable tablets. They were even disappointed they were gone. The liquid was not as enjoyable, my oldest said it had a funny taste. I am glad to report all allergy symptoms are gone, even with a blooming tree being cut and the grass being mowed! I also had no hyper or zombie kids! I can't wait to use my coupons at the store and pick up some more of the chewables!